i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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