she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
