I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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