What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
