at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i jhust puked up my retainher.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
