i just had sex bonerless
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
