your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
