he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
