i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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