I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
