omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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