that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
