I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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