Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Is Oprah even human
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
