i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Every concussion has its silver lining
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
