Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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