I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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