i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
