i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
