my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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