it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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