big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
