? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
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