i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
