did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
