if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
im on a boat
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