I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
