Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize