she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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