we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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