So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
