we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
i think my cat just said my name.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
