Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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