he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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