still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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