Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
