is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
