hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
