and you said cock pushups were impossible
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
