The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
