Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
