I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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