And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
