bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
