I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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