I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
