Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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