This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
