i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
