your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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