I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
