Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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