hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
