He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
