I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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