Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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