shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
