He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
