did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
