someone get that fucking seahorse.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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