this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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