Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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