Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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